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let's be honest, I've never met a cliche I didn't like

Because there is no such thing as too much of a good thing, especially if you live in paradise:

The Hawaii Five-0 Cliche Meme

Fake boyfriends, accidental marriages, and amnesia, OH MY!

Whatever your poison, whatever you favorite cliche, it's open and allowed here. Want to see Steve and Danny make out for cover and discover their ~true feelings? What about when they have to pretend to be boyfriends to keep cover? When they're forced to share a bed all ~platonic-like for weeks and keep waking up cuddling and then can't sleep without each other? Maybe Grace playing matchmaker? The one where everyone but them realizes they're married? Danny gets de-aged to six and Steve has to take care of him? Steve gets magicked into a tiny, angry kitten and/or dragon? They one where they must cuddle for warmth to survive?

Maybe that isn't your flavor. Maybe you want the one where Kono is a punk rock princess that keeps getting into trouble? Or where Chin loses his memory and thinks he's back on the HPD force. Maybe the one where Kono is secretly a criminal mastermind, working the team from the inside. Or where she has the chance return to her pro surfing career and must choose. How about one where Chin goes on an epic road trip?

There is no bad cliche! Whatever your favorite, I promise I want to read/see it, too.

The Rules

♥ Every cliche welcome!
♥ All pairings, ratings, mediums, and genres can be included!
♥ Any word count works!
♥ Have fun and be kind. ♥♥♥

Comment and share the love! ♥

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So it turns out Steve is descended from royalty. And now there's the problem where he's supposed to go back and marry the woman that's been picked out for him...but he's in love with Danny.

PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS STEVE

"Babe, did you get the macaroni for the project?" Danny asked absently, threading a finger through his half-Windsor, loosening it a bit.

He looked up when Steve didn't answer him; Steve's face was a cross between pained and "don't make me fill out the form, please don't make me fill out the form."

"What," Danny said, his eyes narrowing, "did you forget?"

"No," Steve said. "They just--all the moms must have done a run to Whole Foods at the same time, because there was seriously no macaroni in the aisle. Not even that rice shit you hate."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "The likelihood of that aside, what about the Safeway?"

Somehow Steve managed to look even more put upon, with a little dash of, "c'mon, Danny, that foot chase wasn't so bad."

"Only had spaghetti," Steve said, one hand out to forestall Danny's protests. "Look, I'm just saying, I think we're going to have to go to Costco tonight if you want to get stuff for Grace's project, and I know you hate it but that's just how it is."

"I fucking hate Costco," Danny ground out, turning back down to the pictures of the assholes they were trying to run down in defiance of box stores and all their ilk.

"I know you do," Steve said placatingly, "but we'll get a case of that beer you like, and maybe one of those cooked chickens, some macaroni, it'll be fine."

"Fine," Danny echoed, swiping at a picture to send it up to the television. Chin was standing next to it, a file in his hand, with an incredulous look on his face.

"What," Danny said irritably, "do you want us to pick up a human-sized bag of cheese curls for you or something?"

"I didn't realize you two had actually gone through with the civil union," Chin said, the edge of a grin on his face. "But, you know, congratulations."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, stop standing in front of the asshole. I need to memorize his face," Danny said, waving at Chin until he got out of the way. Steve stepped up next to him, and they started planning out how they were going to get this motherfucker to rat out his stupid asshole friends. Just another day.

--

finished up here (http://templemarker.livejournal.com/26450.html)!

Steve's face was a cross between pained and "don't make me fill out the form, please don't make me fill out the form."

Somehow Steve managed to look even more put upon, with a little dash of, "c'mon, Danny, that foot chase wasn't so bad."

Love the expression names. I can see them so clearly, and thus Danny's.

When Danny turned the corner into the parking lot, he hadn't figure that he'd be running into Steve. Never once before had he seen Steve out and about, in a context where one of them didn't call the other one up on the phone to bitch or be constipated about asking to go out for drinks. Its maybe not surprising, because frankly Danny and Steve spend more time together than Danny and Rachel ever had, even when their marriage had been happy, even *before* they'd been married, when Rachel had just moved into Danny's poor little efficiency apartment which, with all her stuff added in, had barely enough room to stretch out on an empty piece of carpet. Danny and Rachel had done that thing where they talked through the bathroom door when the other person was peeing, but it couldn't compare to the nights of stake outs, the times sharing the showers in the 5-0 locker room, the thousands of takeout meals and the hundreds of sleepovers when the thought of driving back to his sad beige apartment made Danny want to cry.

All of this meant that when Danny was sincerely away from Steve, when he couldn't find any reasonable reason to call Steve up on the phone, because it was too early for drinks and too late for lunch, he tried to be alone, telling himself it wasn't healthy to cling, that he was being co-dependent, that if he wasn't careful he was going to blow his fucking cover and just ask Steve to marry him already.

And then he turned the corner into the parking lot of his grocery store, close enough to his place that he didn't bother taking the car, and saw a familiar broad back and ugly-ass pants disappearing into the store. He almost fell over he stopped so quickly. His brain shorted out for a little bit on the image of Commander McGarrett pushing a shopping cart. When he came to, he was grinning, and already moving towards the door, praying with all the fervor at his disposal that the cart had a squeaky wheel.

. . .(and then there is a scene where they go grocery shopping together, and Danny actually sincerely asks Steve to marry him after there is an emotional revelation over the ground beef. THE END.)

((Sorry for tagging on without asking but OMG YES SO DOMESTIC :D))

The cart does, in fact, have a squeaky wheel, and it's one of those where if you're not careful how you push it won't go straight. It's crazy because of how damn normal it is, Steve in the grocery store with a shopping cart, deciding between Wheaties and Corn Flakes in the cereal aisle. Danny doesn't have any context for this, isn't sure how to deal with Steve being just that much more of a person, right in front of his eyes.

"Wheaties or Corn Flakes?" Steve muses aloud, like he's asking for advice instead of talking to boxes. Danny hovers at the end of the aisle for a few seconds, but then Steve looks up from the boxes and grins as they lock eyes, and he shakes the boxes in his hands. "What, for once you don't have an opinion?"

"Raisin Bran," Danny recovers. "Get an extra food group in there, give yourself something to focus on other than how gross flaked cereal is."

"Raisins are just humiliated grapes," Steve says, scrunching his face up in a move that he'd expect out of Grace, which almost causes him to miss-

"Did you just quote Benny and Joon at me?" Danny asks, astonished, because there's no getting out of that one. The faint color in Steve's cheeks is answer enough, and Danny grins. "You did, oh my God, you just quoted that weird-ass movie at me in the middle of Safeway."

"You recognised it," Steve shoots back, which, okay, fair enough. Danny keeps his grin firmly in place, though, as he plucks a box of Raisin Bran from the shelf and tosses it into the cart.

There's another decision to be made in the coffee aisle ("You don't even drink coffee, I drink all your coffee, let me just pick the damn coffee") and another in the frozen dinner aisle ("No, Steven, that's a load of shit, you can cook, put that back").

Steve's grinning by the time they get to the back of the store where the prepackaged meat is kept. Danny leans over and pokes at the chicken in earnest, making faces at it. "This is kind of poorly butchered," he complains, dragging his finger along the plastic packaging. "Gonna have to trim it before you do anything with it."

Steve shrugs. "I can just get a whole one and butcher it myself," he says, and it sounds like an offer, like it's something he wants to do for Danny.

"You know how to - of course you do," Danny sighs. "That's an integral part of SEAL training, isn't it, learning how to field-dress and butcher all sorts of animals-"

Steve's smile is a little pinched around the edges as he grabs a chicken and puts it in the cart. "My mom," he says, like the words are being wrenched out of him. He pushes the cart to the ground beef. "She - it was one of her things, making sure that Mary and I could cook well enough to not live off of frozen dinners for the rest of our lives." His eyes dart back to the frozen food aisle, and Danny wonders for a moment if cooking is actually painful for him, if it just brings up memories of everything he doesn't have any more.

"So yeah, I can take apart a chicken," Steve finishes, that strained smile still in place. "And a rack of ribs, and a pork loin, and-"

"Got it, good at cooking," Danny cuts in. Then, more quietly, "If you want to put this shit back and just get Hot Pockets, Steve, I get it."

Steve's smile shifts minutely, the tension draining out of it, and there's just this small gentle expression left on his face. "Nah," he replies, grabbing enough ground beef to feed the entirety of HPD. "I - used to like it. I think I could again, if I can figure out how to cook for one instead of four."

"I could help you out with that," Danny responds before he thinks, and immediately bites his tongue when Steve smiles at him, still that gentle, fond look.

"How's that?" Steve asks, pushing the cart over to inspect some steaks. "Got a cookbook for me?"

"I eat, too," Danny tosses out, going for broke. "Don't always like to do it alone."

Steve's smile crinkles up his eyes now as he puts two thick steaks into the cart - which, Danny notices for the first time, is mostly full of things he'd picked out or tossed in without thinking about it, and Steve hadn't once commented on it. Steve hadn't commented on him being there at all, not once, not since he'd caught Danny sort-of stalking him back in aisle two. "Inviting yourself over, Danno?" Steve asks, but there's barely any hint of the teasing that Danny was expecting in the gentle tone.

Danny shrugs a little, still wondering at their groceries - their groceries, and it hits him like a ton of bricks, all the time spent at Steve's, all the time not spent at his own place, all the looking and touching and trying to come up with a reason to call Steve at four on a Saturday afternoon. Also, suddenly, there's another thought in his head. "There's a Whole Foods and a Costco between your house and here," he says slowly. "What are you doing all the way over at the Safeway?"

Steve shrugs right back at him. "You said you were going shopping this afternoon," he replies steadily, locking his gaze with Danny's. "Figured you'd come here."

Danny can't help the laugh that escapes his mouth or the grin that stretches his lips - happy like he hasn't been in a while, because all of a sudden the world tilts back onto its axis and everything feels right. "You realise I'm moving in with you," Danny says, and that's not what he'd meant to say but it's the truth.

"Noticed," Steve replies, tilting his head to the cart that he'd let Danny fill.

"And I'm not leaving," Danny clarifies.

"God, I hope not. There's no way I'm cooking all of this for myself."

"God," Danny laughs. "Marry me."

There's a look on Steve's face that he's sure must be reflected on his own, because what, but there's no fear or revulsion or anything in the expression, just surprise and happiness and that fond smile for a moment before Steve asks, "Gonna kiss me first, Danno?"

So he does.

((No offense meant to Benny and Joon, which is actually a movie I thoroughly adore.))

Edited 2011-02-26 01:12 (UTC)

eeeeeeeeee.

AND THEN I LOVED YOU AND THIS COMMENTFIC and everyone lived happily ever after :D

No, no offense. :D :D

And they got married on the beach at their house and Gracie was an adorable flower girl and nobody wore shoes because of the sand, and they were just in khakis and nice shirts (but Danno wore his tie, of course) and YES HAPPILY EVER AFTER :D

I think the next cliche here needs to be Big Gay Wedding Fic. :D

loved. so much.

Re: THE ONE WHERE THEY ARE DISGUSTINGLY DOMESTIC

somehowunbroken - 2011-02-26 06:56 (UTC) - Expand

Oh this is just precious! I love how it takes Danny looking at the cart and seeing Steve at HIS grocery store to finally figure things out. And just that Steve did that, awww. They are so adorable!

Heeeeeeeee so domestic, I love it :D

Kono totally kept that madam's dog. She ask Steve and Danny to take care of it for a while for whatever reason. Cue Steve being utterly whipped by a 5 lb ball of fluff, much to Danny's horror.

This prompt is inspired by true events. A family friend is BFF with a former Navy Seal who is built like a tree trunk and one of the most flaming men you will ever meet, complete with little dog.

Someone needs to write the Big Gay Wedding Fic. :D

With Steve freaking out at the last minute, scaling down the side of the building in his tux... and landing on Danny's who's just snuck out through the kitchen. And the two of them having a heartfelt "Aserklajfdlfl; WEDDING! What were we thinking?" moment before Chin catches up with them and bullies them back inside.

And when they get inside, Gracie's standing with her hands on her hips in her flower girl dress, the one she'd picked out with her Danno and Steve-o, and her little hands are on her hips and she's pouting at them when she asks, "You were gonna run away and not get married?"

And Kono says, "Don't worry; Uncle Chin knocked some sense into them."

Danny tries to backpeddle, explaining that it's not the married part that's scary, because they're pretty much married already, just... sometimes parties can be too much.

And he tells this story about how when Grace was really little she used to cry every time the candles on a birthday cake got lit. Like clockwork, every time until she turned three.

"You don't want Danno and Steve to be scared, do you?"

Grace thinks about that for a minute, shakes her head solemnly and then takes them both by the hand. "Don't worry; I'll look after you."

Edited 2011-02-26 08:22 (UTC)

The Hawaii Five-0 Cliche Meme

The Rules

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scenes from nuptials in progress, act I.

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THE ONE WHERE THEY ARE DISGUSTINGLY DOMESTIC

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HAWAII FIVE-0 HIGH SCHOOL AU

Re: HAWAII FIVE-0 HIGH SCHOOL AU PART 2/?

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