my name is Bill and I'm a head case

[angelgazing]

shacking_up is hosting a classics week, where they encourage people to post old stories of theirs. Well, they're sort of still doing it, today (the 20th) is the last day. Anyway, so I thought I'd play.

I even conned bribed begged asked luzdeestrellas to beta two of my S/R stories that never got the beta treatment. ::cringes::

And I just... I can't do it. I went through and edited So It Goes With Faith and went through and fixed the coding and put it up where the original entry was, just because. And I... cannot post it.

It's just that it's awful. It's horrible. It's possibly the one story that am ashamed to admit to writing. If fandom writing had a scoring system then this story would be tossed with the lowest score. Everything about it, dialogue, plot (and I use the term loosely) characterization--everything about this story--just grates on my every last nerve.

I'm not even kidding, you know. Not even a little. I've been resisting the urge for ages to do a post of Things I Hate In Fiction and at least two of the top three are in this story. It pains me. It horrifies me. It makes me think, you know, maybe I'm just not cut out for this business after all.

I cannot post it on the unsuspecting public! Not if they're going to judge me based on it!

This isn't an "omg reassure me" post. This is me being horrified and other things that mean that same thing.

Am I the only one who feels this way? I mean, I don't think I'm a horrible writer. I don't think "omg yay me", but I don't think I completely suck either. Except, in this case, where I did everything wrong. I've got stories I like (sorta), but none that I am embarrassed by like this one.

Am I the only one? Really? Do you have stories of your own that you love? That you hate? That you cringe at the thought of? Am I all alone in my deep mental issues regarding my writing?

So many questions.

Comments

[danbi.livejournal.com]

Ah, well, I've got the whole guilt complex thing. I mean, I don't feel as bad if I just mention a link on my own journal to something I've written but if I actually pimp it to places, I...dunno, I just can't anymore. I don't really feel bad, though, since rare pairs aren't exactly the rage, as it were.

I can't do cliches well. I've tried, but they just sound formulaic. I honestly had no idea they were cliches when I wrote them but after being in the HP fandom for over a year...yeah. Just yeah.

Yay. *|o|*

[angelgazing.livejournal.com]

Cliches are tricky little buggers. Because I shouldn't, I know, but I love them. Stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and--oh noes--a snowstorm comes and the only way to survive teh night is with shared body heat! We must get out of these wet clothes! Pining! Locked in a closet!

I'm so weak.

And they are so, so very hard to write well. I just... can't. I want to, but I can't.

Then, just to make matters worse, I don't really know an HP cliche unless it hits me in the face.