"Obviously, Yusuf can talk to cats. But they only speak to him in a language he doesn't know very well...like Spanish. So he has to use a phrasebook and that causes all kinds of translation issues."

Dude, why are you so awesome. That's the best flipping idea I've ever heard. And I read Carebear A&E so there's a high bar. I would read that fic. Why has no one written that yet?